KENYA SUMAKU

"Our mission is to…Open the hidden perspectives"

These tit-bits may cheer you a little bit!

Posted by Popular Ombudsman on April 27, 2009

Toney and his boney

I had wanted to pay them a visit,
Those who had been there to assist,
when I drove no beast,
It was my turn to assist,
For honour and friendship to persist.
But my boney said ‘desist,
I can see nothing but mist;
For within your fist,
There is this list,
If you must visit,
Then drop that list’
I hope you get the gist?
As I dropped it at the last,
Boney ordered me the house to dust,
Stung to the last,
I could take none of the rust,
So I shouted to resist,
Now we stare into the mist,
And with no more feast….

masaibu ya Bwana na Bi. Sumaku

Landing on fire

And so I made to go in,
They ushered me to the entry,
Ah, so I was entering through the exit?
Again
I was reminded of my hand bag,
That there was a place to leave it,
Now I handed over my dear bag…
Inside,
Without encumberance,
I took a walk.
First to the “Jogoo” section,
I saw that “Jogoo” was forty-something to the kilo,
I sauntered along,
and… Read More went to the fruits section,
Oh impossible, I muttered to myself,
Then I remembered I needed a bucket,
So I went upstairs…
On my way up,
I saw a rack full of books.
I saw gas cylinders along the way,
I saw dog food,
I saw cat food,
And then the TVs and Big music machines.
I passed the fridges to pick the bucket,
As I searched for the twenty litre bucket,
The lights went off!
Pitch darkness…
shouts of terror..
Everybody groping,
Fire, fire, fire…
As I hurriedly banged against shelves and people,
I reached the top of the staircase
AND THERE WAS LIGHT.
It was not emergency lighting (they sell emergency torches!)
It was fire at the landing!

Ndugu Tony Mongare-senior writer

A DEBT OF $0.00

blogthrens

I found this hilarious in a thought for today by AllanSmith :

Enjoy

In March 1992, a man living near Boston, Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away, too.

The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn’t send them $0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they’d take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been canceled. He called the credit card company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.

The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day and that the latest bill was yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally giving in, he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all.

A week later, the man’s bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation, the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail. The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt.

The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

-found by Our Chief Scout (Askauti Mkuu)

Hata wewe unaweza kuandika ututumie tutachapisha hapa. Condition: Strictly, no bigotry.

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